Today, it has been 20 days since the breakup. Everything that was between us is now over. She consider me as a friends, but I am still in love with her. To keep this love alive, I am losing my self-respect little by little every day. It feels like a fight between my heart and my mind. Life feels like a balance scale with self-respect on one side and her on the other.
I don’t know what to choose. If I choose self-respect, the little talks we still have will also end. Honestly, those talks are just the last thread of friendship, which is slowly breaking anyway. On the other hand, if I try to keep talking to her, I will lose my self-respect, and in doing so, I feel like I’m losing myself.
This struggle between love and self-respect is breaking me from the inside. I read it somewhere that without self-respect, no relationship has any meaning. Self-respect is what makes people feel like they matter.
I have understood that Love cannot be one-sided. If one person loves and the other only wants friendship, the balance of the relationship will always be off. Everyone should understand that self-respect is like a treasure. If it’s lost, it’s hard to get back. And if I lose my self-respect for someone who doesn’t care about me, I am only being unfair to myself.
While writing today, I feel it’s time to make a decision. Maybe it’s time to start loving myself instead of chasing someone who doesn’t want me. Maybe it’s time to place my self-respect on the balance scale that has been tilted for too long.